Prior to discovering the Human Design System and BG5, my guiding principles were centered around the ideas that I needed to handle tasks on my own if I wanted them done, that taking immediate action was key even if it meant seeking forgiveness afterward, and that I embodied the role of a powerful force that could overcome obstacles. However, as I delved into these systems and learned more, it became clear that these beliefs didn’t align with my authentic self. Living in a society & environment that valued builders and express builders led me to adopt these mindsets, even though they weren’t inherently mine. It’s no surprise then that I eventually reached a point of burnout by the time I turned 32.
Would you like to learn about my experience in being recognized and invited as an Emotional Advisor
Allow me to briefly introduce myself: I’m Stephen Horn, and I live in the sunny city of Los Angeles. I am an Emotional Advisor, and my public role is a Leader / Natural. Currently, I do Social Media & Marketing for the BG5BI. In 2020, I unexpectedly came across the Human Design and BG5 system through a chance encounter with a stranger. Back then, I found the concept intriguing, but I must admit it was quite a challenge for me to wrap my head around and decipher. I would soon realize that my personal interaction style & decision-making strategy would become my best friends.
Do you literally have to wait to be recognized and invited to do anything in life?
Yeanoo (Yes / No), is my typical response to this question. Let me break down the complexities into situations that might be easier to understand.
May I discuss my experience of waiting for recognition and invitation in relation to my living and working situations?
For the living environment: Growing up in Youngstown, OH, I always sensed a free-spirited nature within me that craved adventure, and I had an aversion to being directed. It wasn’t until I was 27 that I made a significant move to LA, marking my first time living away from home. This decision wasn’t rushed; it developed over time, and I gained clarity gradually. In 2013, I made my initial visit to LA to see a college friend who had settled there after graduation. My visits became more frequent, and with each trip, I found myself increasingly enamored with the West Coast, even though I hadn’t fully realized that its ‘natural shore’ environment resonated with me.
By 2016, a year after completing my Master’s Program, I had reached a point of decisive clarity about the new life I desired. The 3000-mile journey from Youngstown to LA would begin a week after my 27th birthday.
For Work: Reflecting on my journey from my very first job as a SPIN Instructor to where I am now, I realize how crucial the concepts of ‘Recognition & Invitation’ have been in shaping my career path. It all started with me attending SPIN classes at my campus recreation center. I began with just 2 days a week, gradually increasing to nearly 6 days a week. My dedication caught the attention of the instructors. As they saw my commitment and the need for male instructors, I was identified and invited to undergo certification to teach at the rec center. This opportunity transformed my role from being just an Instructor to overseeing the entire Group Fitness Department.
In subsequent positions, my path was similarly guided by the power of connections. I either had someone in my network providing a positive reference or I was approached by recruiters who discovered me on LinkedIn. The conventional method of applying for a job and securing it through that process never seemed to work for me. Instead, it was about being noticed by others and allowing opportunities to come to me, rather than forcing myself to be noticed.
When it comes to both work and living situations, the concepts of recognition and invitation are of paramount importance. Without them, there’s a risk of relocating to a place where I lack connections, leading to potential regret about my decision. Alternatively, attempting to force visibility and struggling to gain acknowledgment in the job market could lead to bitterness and resentment. An Advisor striving to force recognition is an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved.
Does this make sense to everyone so far? Should I share my experience in everyday life waiting for recognition and invitation?
Everyday Life: Now I don’t need a recognition or invitation to do everyday life things like eat, go outside, go to the store, etc. However, when it comes to social interactions, it’s a different scenario. At this stage in my life, I don’t take the initiative to call or text others; I’m not the one who initiates conversations. In the past, when I did initiate such conversations, the person on the other end often appeared to be in a bad mood, busy, or generally uninterested in talking.
Now, following my decision-making strategy – I wait for others to reach out to me. If they eventually mention that they haven’t heard from me or that I don’t initiate contact anymore, I respond with either “Communication goes both ways” or “You’re right, I haven’t.” I then leave it at that without elaborating further.
Would you like to hear about how I interact with others?
For Advisors, the key to correct interaction lies in asking the right question to the right person at the right time. Advisors, once aware, have the ability to recognize the other in terms of sensing what might be the right question at the right time. Whether it’s proposing a date or discussing a project or business venture with a builder, it’s not just about the content of our question, but the way we frame it. Here’s an example to illustrate:
Consider the difference between these two approaches:
- “We should go see a movie or have dinner sometime, wouldn’t that be fun?”
- “Would you like to join me for Mexican food this Friday at 7 PM?”
The first question leaves the other with a lot of uncertainties to figure out, such as the day, time, restaurant, movie, and so on. In contrast, the second question provides specific details and minimizes their decision-making process; they only need to respond with a simple “yes or no.” Open ended questions for a builder leave them like a deer in headlights. Don’t force the questions on a builder or ask them questions we want in order to get the response that we want. A builder will know if an Advisor is trying to push their own agenda to get a certain outcome.
Mastering the art of crafting invitations without expectation in this manner can help us avoid feeling resentful about not being noticed or invited by others. It empowers us to take control and acknowledge that the initial recognition and invitation must stem from within ourselves before we can expect it from others.
Would you like to learn about one more experience?
Group Invitations: Imagine you’re in a meeting with your colleagues, and your boss calls on you to contribute your thoughts on a new project. However, you notice that one of your coworkers seems disengaged, focusing on their phone or other distractions while you’re speaking. This situation might leave you feeling bitter or resentful afterward, but why? After all, your boss recognized you and extended an invitation for you to speak. So, why the bitterness?
In group settings, it’s important to understand that just because one person, even your boss, acknowledged your input and invited you to speak, it doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone else in the meeting did the same. This realization can help avoid negative feelings. Rather than simply presenting your ideas because your boss invited you, you can use a more strategic approach by creating an invitation within an invitation.
Here’s what I mean: Before sharing your ideas, acknowledge your boss’s invitation by responding with “Yes, I’d be happy to share my ideas about the project.” Then, proceed to extend an invitation to your coworkers by asking, “Would the entire team be interested in hearing the ideas I’ve developed for this phase of the project?” This approach helps ensure that your input is both recognized by your boss and welcomed by the broader group.
Was sharing my experience insightful? Did you notice the invitations I created throughout this article?
Observing your own life unfold is truly remarkable; you’re like the audience watching your own movie, witnessing how you present yourself day after day. When we grasp the influence of our strategy and authority, we can genuinely avoid internalizing things. If someone declines our proposal or request, it doesn’t imply a flaw in us; it’s more about the energy they have available to offer at that moment.
As a 6/2 Emotional Projector, Stephen has 15 years of experience in Talent Acquisition and Employer Branding. With his “Work Smarter” approach, he has successfully developed and implemented efficient hiring strategies in fast-paced, complex high-growth environments within the Healthcare and Bio-Pharmaceutical (Drug Discovery) Industries.
In 2015, Stephen earned a Master of Arts in Sports Management from Kent State University after earning his Bachelor of Science in Business Administration (AACSB Accredited) from Youngstown State University. In 2016, he set out on the open road, leaving his life in Ohio to create a new one 2434 miles away in sunny Los Angeles.
After learning about the Human Design System in 2019, Stephen is enjoying the deconditioning process as he dives deeper to learn the many layers of HD and BG5®. Stephen’s mission in life is to spot and help dissolve old ways of interacting as a community–moving from a reactive place to a responsive one. He wants to help move people from a stale status quo into a place of forgiveness, to help change the story of what’s possible for the world.
